By Elizabeth Elkins, Director, Moon Library, SUNY College of Environmental Science and Forestry, Syracuse, NY

*Nothing will keep me from getting to work on time, but not so early that I have to make the coffee. I will arrive well ahead of time, thoroughly prepared with customized handouts in four colors for every class I teach and every meeting.

* I will be zealously cheerful about my work even when I am doing something for the millionth time and can't stand it.

* I will treat every reference question with full professional attention, nurturing concern and encyclopedic knowledge of the world's resources even if the patron is in a hurry to find the restroom.

*I will deftly fix all malfunctioning copy machines, microfilm readers, computers and other equipment without cursing, blaming, or calling for help.

* With the support of the administration I will rationalize all libraryy procedures and policies to fit neatly on the head of a pin _with_ the dancing angels.

*I will micro-manage the smaller budget to cover all legitimate information needs so that money is left over for startling innovations.

* I will graciously accomodate the flood of faculty requests for full library involvement for every course and every student , as I figure out the Internet and explain it perfectly in 15 minutes or less.

* I will leave my desk neat and dusted every night, leaving finished all my professional reading, returned all phone calls and answered all email.

* I will never eat or drink or talk idly in the library.

* I will read good literature in order to be well rounded, and I will return my library books on time. I will shine my halo and keep it on straight, to match my co-workers'.

* And I will occasionally look out the window at the fall sky long enough to remember the above nonsense is unlikely in this best of all possible worlds.